Girl About Town: Reflections on my (short lived) attempt at being a diva

When I was in 8th grade I had a school friend who was quite a diva. She was voluptuous, and sassy, prissy and self-absorbed, and her parents gave her whatever she wanted. A sweet girl, but to this day she's my definition of high maintenance. It was during the time that MTV was still cool and we worshipped shows like The Real World and Road Rules. Everything around me said that beautiful and popular people were high maintenance and drama. This was definitely not me, but I (stupidly) tried to make it so. So around school friends I squealed, gossipped, read magazines about celebrities, and went to parties, and tried to flirt. My dirty secret was that outside school or away from school friends I wasn't like this at all. Super dirty secret huh?

Makes me laugh now, why would anybody aspire to be beautiful high maintenance drama? I call this the Katy Perry effect. My friend was my Katy Perry, and I desperately wanted to be like her. Wear cool clothes, be liked by the cool boys (or any boys), and have perfect hair and makeup. Instead I felt awkward and ugly, and usually invisible. Aside from exacerbating my teenage angst, and driving my mom insane with my demands for clothes and nail polish and my sullen demeanor, my Katy Perry effect was expressed through Tropical Skittles and Snapple Lime Green Tea. This was my thing, (and it caused quite a few dental problems too). But I didn't care, I wanted to be known and noticed, I wanted my thing. Skittles were my thing. I really do love those Skittles by the way. This angst and desire to be beautiful and popular continued through school, one Katy Perry being replaced by another, until one day in my junior year my current Katy Perry who happened to be my best friend decided she no longer liked me and broke up our friendship by moving out of our locker and commencing silent treatment. This was the worst thing that happened to me in high school, to this day I am saddened when I remember it. After that I decided to hell with it, I didn't need to be Katy Perry anymore. I started wearing what I wanted, doing what I wanted, and being who I wanted to be. It worked out pretty well.

I like to think I've got a better grasp on reality now than I did back then. But where would the world be without Katy Perrys to put teen girls into a spiral of angst? What would it be like if teenagers didn't want things like Skittles and Snapple, or Doc Martens, or Nokia cell phones? These days it's probably iPods and Androids, Tom's Shoes, and colorful little Coach bags (I know these things cause I understand Gen Y really really well, See bio...) Heaven forbid they're running around with unchecked self esteem and confidence in themselves, god no.

For your viewing pleasure may I present to you, Katy Perry's Tour Rider. These are the demands the real Katy Perry makes on the road. Seriously. What I can't quite figure out is when she goes on tour, she's doing her job. She's not doing any favors for anybody, and she needs these tours to keep her relevant, because she's going to disappear soon enough.

Have a read and a good laugh, and when you start to feel badly that somebody like Katy Perry is sending society into the toilet, remember she's not new and she won't be the last. But for now, her dressing room better have pink and white pipe and drape, or else.