Get real, get a job, then get a life.

I can't even tell you how many times I've heard it this:

A brand new talented employee, full of smarts and potential is hired and her managers are stoked to have her. It all goes smoothly at first, when suddenly she's asking to leave early 3 days a week, then she wants to work from home. Next she wants a company laptop and cell phone, and wants to flex in 2 days a week. Then she needs to take 2 hour lunches to get acupuncture. After 4 months on the job, and mediocre performance, she puts in for vacation time.

I've heard them myself too. From the normal things like having to pick up sick kids from daycare, to needing to leave early to attend a sorority alumni event 2 hours away (yes). Once I was told that somebody was late because that morning they had to chase, corral and muzzle their parents small dogs and put them in carriers for the groomers. And "family obligations take precedence over work." Um, ok.

So here's my dirty secret, I've been there, I get it. I remember back when I was searching for my first job. Having minimal career guidance in the reality check department, I honestly thought I was qualified for a director level position, when I was barely qualified for entry level work. Here's a particularly painful (and stupid) recount. Once I turned down a fantastic opportunity to work in the headquarters of a well-known global coffee company because they wanted me to start as a barista to learn the business. I refused because I thought I was better than that. Karma would have it that a few months later, that's exactly what I was doing, except with no real advancement opportunities in sight. And guess what, I loved being a barista.

I remember thinking to myself when I was in college that there wasn't much else that I could learn. I thought I was pretty much at my prime. That's so embarrassing because it's absolutely ridiculous.
Anyhow girls and guys about town, get real with yourself while you're getting out there. Whether you're searching, or working your way up the ladder. Never look a gift opportunity (horse) in the mouth like I did. Learn, learn, and learn some more. But most importantly remember this, you've got to earn your stripes in a company. And many of the people you work with think differently and approach things differently than you, so take that into account, before you try to cash in your chips. Because if you try too early, it'll be that much harder to earn then back.

If there are some factors that are a deal breaker for you, like absolutely needing to take long lunches so you can go to the gym, or telecommuting a few times a week to be home for kids. You've got to prioritize when you're job searching. How badly do you need the job vs. how important is this to you? Is it something that can hold off for a while until you forge relationships, learn the ropes and establish yourself as a top performer? If so, then it probably should. Just know that if you have to have these things up front, it could potentially make you less easy to hire than somebody who doesn't.

A lot of people get this backwards, they get the job, they want the life, and then they need to get real. This is a pretty harsh sequence to put yourself through.