Girl About Town's guide to Urban Decorum

When did it first really sink in that good decorum was an absolute must?

I was in high school, walking to the infamous Top Burger with my friend Natalie before cheerleading practice (yes I was a cheerleader, but in my defense I also served a stint as band president). So anyway, leaving top burger with whatever deep fried madness we were consuming we passed two girls sitting on the sidewalk, reclining really. Their legs sprawled into the street. Let me paint a picture: ratty black bra showing underneath a worn out light pink spaghetti strap tank top, LEI jeans, old sketchers, yellow hair with brown roots, tied back with a rubber band into messy bun. Fake nails, (with decals!) Brown lip liner and frosted lip gloss...They were smoking cigarettes and talking. Wait, change talking to spewing expletives loudly. Normally I wouldn't have given this a second thought, but Natalie quietly brought to my attention how unattractive this was. It struck me. It doesn't take much to cross the line. And it doesn't take much to set that precedent either. I think that observing decorum and good manners just might make up the difference between the "It Girl" and "That Girl."

However, Emily Post aside (sorry Marissa), the rules have changed, and I think it's important that somebody bring to light the all-important social niceties that we observe (or don't) every day without even realizing it. For the record, my friend Marissa is one of the most all around stylishly well mannered people I know.

In line at Starbucks (or any other coffee joint):
If the line is long, you have plenty of time to read the menu and decide what you'd like. If you want to look in the case and aren't yet conveniently located immediately in front, you can step out of line and lean, but if you walk completely out of line, you just forfeited your spot. If you must walk out of line, you need to politely notify the person immediately behind you that you are only stepping over to check out today's sandwich selection. They will understand.
For heaven's sake, be polite to the barista, they are making a liquid beverage that you plan to drink. Think about that.

In the elevator:
If you enter the elevator and other people are already there, you must take an available spot up against one of the walls that doesn't invade a bubble, (if there is one). If all the non-invasive wall spots are taken, you should stand immediately in the middle of the elevator, that way not one person feels awkward and singled out that you decided to invade their bubble.
If you are the one nearest to the button panel, you should push the buttons for new people entering the elevator, but don't get territorial about this duty! If someone wants to push their own buttons, by all means, let them push away.

When someone else's kid is driving you nuts.
For the most part, any commenting is prohibited. If an infant is crying, you personally need to suck it up and deal. If someone's kid is being obnoxious, you should give the parents ample time to notice and rectify the problem. Some parents are so numb to the antics of their kids, they might not notice that little Johnny is running around Subway like a hooligan, but once they figure it out, they will handle it the way they see fit.
If someone's kid is seriously hindering you or someone else's quality of life at the moment (ie: going through someone's belongings, interrupting strangers, ruining property, etc.) You should subtly gauge weather or not the rest of the people in the area are annoyed by this. In case of a mutiny, you want the troops behind you. If they have, you can politely mention to the parent what their child is doing, just don't be accusatory, people don't like feeling like a bad parent. "I'm not sure you can see, but little Suzie is ripping up that gentleman's newspaper."
The only time these rules don't apply is at kid-oriented establishments, let them have at it, that's why everything is made of plastic.

Smoking
Smoking may have been banned in all public establishments in Portland, but that doesn't mean people don't do it. If you need to smoke, you should definitely not walk down a crowded street smoking, as much as you might not care personally, the hoardes of people behind you don't enjoy walking directly into a stinky cloud.
So you should stand in a stationary spot and smoke, and dispose of the butt elsewhere than the sidewalk. Maybe a drain, an ashtray, worst case scenario, the area between the curb and the street is better than the middle of the sidewalk.
Don't smoke in someone else's car unless they smoke too and said it's ok. Even if you ask politely and a non smoker tells you it's ok to smoke in their car, they are most likely not wanting to offend you. If you want to smoke, drive your own car.

Airing your views about politics
This might be a no brainer for some, but don't ever assume that people have the same political views as you. Just because Portland is super duper blue, does not mean that everyone is on your team (same goes for the opposite), in fact there are so many political views and personalities, it's best to not bring it up at all in casual conversation. You may think that everybody in your office is super interested in your opinion and you are super qualified to give it. This is not a good idea.
Here are good places/times to talk political:
At political-oriented functions
At causes that certain political agenda's support (and in this case, stay on topic)
When you are absolutely certain that somebody has given you the green light to open debate.
*notice I didn't say only with people of your orientation. Just make sure it's welcome.