All you gotta do is Dance?

Gotta love the corporate luncheons. The small talk, the name tags, the assigned table, the soggy salmon, the hard rolls, it's enough to make you think twice about the "free lunch" you're eating. The elderly man in the chair next to me was sulking into his rice pilaf. "Young people these days," the old man grumbled. "They have no idea what real dancing is, they just sit in bars and rub up against each other, you call that dancing? When I was a kid, we could dance for real, there was always a live band, a good band too."

I considered what he said. The Crystal Ballroom with its famous sprung dance floor is typically host to surging throngs of jumping bodies.

The next week my uncle invited me out dancing. "So you're hitting up the club scene these days?" I joked, elbowing him in the arm. "Not clubs, way better. A bunch of us get together and go out swing dancing, maybe a little lindy, whatever's playing. There's a live band, It's a great time." I imagined old church ladies wearing florals hanging out in a rec hall or grange. I thought of cold pasta salad, sheet cake, and watery punch diluted by the melted ice ring.

"Thanks I'll pass..."

So when I found myself lining up outside the Imago Theater, to get into someplace called the Mambo Lounge, I was a bit confused as to where we were going. But there was a line and a wooden signboard on the sidewalk, so I went with it. We paid $10 to get in and joined a crush of people leaving a show at the Imago. After climbing about three floors up a back staircase that appeared to go head nowhere, we emerged into a huge ballroom. There was a band warming up on stage, (a real band) and people gathering for a salsa lesson. After learning a few basic steps, the place quickly filled with the Salsa dance enthusiasts of Portland. The atmosphere was laid back and so much more pleasant than any "club scene." I left at the end of the night having spent roughly $20. Way less than a night out! We immediately made plans to not only go back, but find out what the dance hall scene in Portland really has to offer.

Making new friends!

Reasons you should go out dancing:

1) You may drink some, but you'll drink way less. And you'll burn twice the calories!

2) Meet interesting new people!

3) Dance with people, without feeling like you are being physically violated at a frat party.

4) You can pretend you're on Dancing With The Stars

5) You can learn something new!

Where to go! (most of the dances are cheap cover, anywhere from $5-10, $15-20 if it's a special event, like New Years's Eve)

http://www.swingout.net/ Find out where the Portland swing/lindy scene meets

Norse Hall http://www.norsehall.org/

Crystal Ballroom (there is still real dancing here!)

Scottish Rite

Viscount Studio <---you can also take lessons here

Parkrose Ballroom

Portland Police Athletic Association

Andrea's Cha Cha Club @ The Grand Cafe

The Art of Procrastination

There is an acquired skill that is so valuable, nobody should deny themselves this knowledge. This skill has led to the evolution of the greatest artistic and revolutionary minds we know. At the very least, it's contributed to the health and well-being of millions. Everybody does it, but nobody particularly likes to own up. It's the art of procrastination.

"Why is procrastination a skill?"

Procrastination can be a valuable tool if utilized correctly. Some do their best work under a tight deadline. Their vision is the most clear, the most creative, and the most objective. There's no time to waffle. That my friend, is what procrastination is truly about.

There are many methods of procrastination. However to truly and effectively get the most from this formidable skill, it's important that your procrastination technique is as effective for you personally as possible.

Consider the fact that the average adult spends 8-14 hours a week aimlessly surfing the net. While it is extremely important to make absolute certain you are 100% updated at all times on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, My Space, etc. This is not where the true essence of procrastination lies. Unless social media is what revs your engine and gets you out of bed each day, or you have your moments of Zen while tagging pictures of friends and creeping on your ex from high school, this is not procrastinating, this is wasting 8 hours.

Never ever waste valuable procrastinating time! Truly successful procrastination should leave you feeling rested, invigorated, creative, and energized. Think of it as an enriching nap for the mind and spirit. If you carve yourself time in your hectic and mind-numbing routine for some procrastination time, you will reap the benefits in other areas of life. So just say "NO" to the "To Do List" and say yes to wandering aimlessly on the waterfront, eating Italian ice and watching bums attempt aerobics.

Some of my best work so far is the direct result of very satisfying, enriching and formidable skill of procrastination in its purest form!

Procrastinate in an area near you today!

Places to Procrastinate:

NW Portland:

• Powells. duh.
• Sip & Kranz. Especially in the summer, when the people, dog and little kid watching is at it's peak.
• Rose Gardens/Japanese Gardens. This is especially productive if you enjoy smelling flowers and accidentally crashing weddings.
• Saint Cupcake. Have one of each tiny cupcake they are featuring that day. I reccomend the Red Velvet and the Fat Elvis. When you're done there, head over to Cupcake Joe's and do the same!
• Dazzle on NW 23rd. Look at the cute blazers from The Bella Sisters www.bellasisters.com. Their clothes are sustainable, fashion forward and unique! I have a jacket was custom-made for me for my birthday featuring felt owls, ruffles, pinstrips, puff sleeves and a sewn in hood, fantabulous! They also have cases of unique jewelry there reminiscent of Twist, but much more accessibly priced.
• Coffee and Crepes at Vivace on NW 23rd & Pettygrove

Greater SW Portland:

• Multnomah Village. As a promoter of books and independent book stores, of course I have to mention Annie Bloom's (they have a cat).
• The Buffalo Gap. Ten cent wings! Bring antacid.
• Multnomah County Library
• Try hats on at John Helmer Haberdasher
• Eat breakfast at McCormick & Schmidt's Harborside and watch the dogs (this is best in nice weather)

SE Portland

• Pambiche on 28th and Glisan. I highly reccomend the tres leches cake, empanadas, arroz con pollo and braised oxtail! And don't forget the lemonade made with real sugarcane!
• The Laurelhurst. Cheap movies, cheap food.
• All the random vintage stores!
• Andy and Bax in NE Portland
• Fleur De Lis cafe. Delicious scones and pastries! Good prices too.
• Luxe Autohaus (you can dream!) and Ecomotion, the electric cars are so cute!
• Furever Pets on NE Broadway is an adorable pet boutique. Get your dog a pupcake so he doesn't feel left out when you gorge yourself on cupcakes all day.
• Great cheap American Chinese food: Saigon on NE Broadway. Get the Won Ton Soup!
• The Kennedy School, for the same reason we like The Laurelhurst x2.
  

Stay tuned

The finer points of eating chicken feet: Dim Sum in Portland

Lots of people think that the "small plates" phenomena is new. It is not, ask any Chinese person who has been eating Dim Sum since before they could walk. Just look at the popularity of Dim Sum, the restaurants are always packed! It's no surprise that Dim Sum (as well as Tapas) may or may not have contributed to the evolution of small plates. The only real discernible differences are:

1) For Dim Sum, carts of small plates circle the restaurant, all you need to do is point and mumble in caveman-like fashion and they'll hand you some cheap food! They don't expect you to correctly pronounce the name, or even really understand what you're eating. Rice/porridge/gruel in a bowl with a happy concoction of beef intestine and "thousand year eggs?" Bring it on!

2) At small plates the food is not cheap, and more often than not you may feel obligated to correctly pronounce or understand what you are ordering. In the event that you don't, you may be looked upon as a quaint and amusing novelty. They will most likely smile warmly upon you like you are a 4 year old child who just mastered "please" and "thank you."

What exactly IS this?

3) At Dim Sum, they don't care if you don't finish your chicken feet or leave your designated slice of sea cucumber uneaten. But at small plates, if you don't finish your chocolate covered chicken wing, they'll want to know why.

This is sea cucumber, it has been served to me once at Sam Woo in Los Angeles.

Why Chicken Feet?

Let's begin with some poetry:

Chickens are feathery, short and stout. They have beaks, so they cannot pout.

They have wings, but can’t really fly. Though many times I’ve seen them try.

They peck and cluck and eat corn meal. If I were a chicken, how would I feel?

We love all creatures all the same, but the poor chicken’s feet are really lame.

With only three toes with long bony nails, they might as well be covered in scales.

People eat the meat and the fat you see, but the feet are considered a delicacy!

I’m not quite sure what they call the feet, but they’re not very appetizing,

nor sound very sweet. They’re fatty and bony and yucky too, that’s the last thing

I want to chew. Maybe you can grind them and make them dog food,

or sauté them in butter for the socially crude…

I think eating their feet is kind of rude! Unless you’re in a really strange mood.

Braised chicken feet! Take a gander folks. You must be a skillful master of chopsticks to pick these up. They are very dense, squishy and slippery.

Yes, chicken feet are fatty, they are also bony. But yucky? That is subjective. I would argue that fried chicken feet are substantially more delicious, much more similar to gnawing on the end of a wing. What red-blooded American turns their nose up at gnawing on an overfriend chicken wing?

Places to eat Dim Sum in Portland:

Wong's King on SE Division St.

Jin Wah Restaurant in Beaverton

Fong Chong in Downtown Old Town

Wong's King on the Eastside (I have not eaten here, but I hear it's really good!)

House of Louie in Downtown Old Town

Some things to remember if you're a dim sum newbie:

1) Dim Sum is an adventure! For everything new you don't like, there's probably something you'll wonder how you've lived without.
2) There's a lazy susan in the middle of the table because you're supposed to share.
3) As open as you are to new ingredients, be open to new textures.
4) Remember that Dim Sum is like brunch, as fun as it'd be to eat for dinner, they don't serve it then.
5) It's best to plan a little ahead, and go in a big group.

How to Feel Inferior in Portland

Don't get me wrong, I love Portland. How can you not? Today on the corner of 2nd and Taylor I saw a man wearing a Carhart kilt! With Timberland-type hiking boots! He was definitely ready to hit up a construction site near you and perhaps play a bagpipe or something. It was most likely not Carhart brand, but it might have been....With the eclectic scene here, anybody should feel welcome, accepted and embraced despite their shortcomings. like a giant nudist colony (with no nudists).

KILT SIGHTING CHALLENGE ACTIVITY: If you can get me a good photograph of this alleged kilt I will buy you and any accomplises lunch!*************

So getting to my point, I have started running. I began on a training plan called The Couch to 5k a few weeks ago, and it's been going very well. I am almost done with it. This is not a joke.



So I heard that Thursday was supposed to be "nice," which for Portland in February "nice" means not pouring buckets, not frigidly cold, and you might be able to see pieces of the sky between the clouds. Feeling particularly ambitious this week, I bought some Power Bars (the "endurance" variety), and some Power-ade.

So I pack my gym bag this morning with my running shoes that the trainer picked out by analyzing my running gait. I also pack up all my new gym clothes in the weird materials that don't ever get wet, even fresh out of the washing machine. I obediently spend my morning appropriately "carbing" and overall doing everything I am told good runners do. Come lunch hour I put on my headphones and trot down to the waterfront. I feel a little out of place, being downtown amongst the skyscrapers in my gym clothes. It was almost like the "Oh crap I went to work without pants on" feeling we all have in those nightmares we get. Wait you don't get those? Well never mind....

So I start running and I am trying to "pace myself." This is not working out so well because the waterfront is full of runners. They are all wearing the same types of fancy weird fabric clothes, except I am sure they don't look nearly as weird in them...They are also running faster than me and this doesn't sit so well. So I try to ignore the prodigious running skills of everybody in the waterfront and focus on myself. 20 minutes later I am sweating profusely. Without my trusty treadmill guage I have no idea how fast I ran, how far, and how long I've been running. Also, I keep having to stop and walk. Only to feel the wind of everyone else, blowing by me, looking all athletic and runner-like. I might be running too hard, but how can I not try to run harder while eating everyone else's dust? At this point I am impressed that I was able to tie my shoes myself before heading down here.

Considering I'd like to stay gainfully employed and not collapse somewhere on the esplanade, I head back. The only problem is all those freaking runners are still passing me closely on both the left and right. Which made me think that there should be some type of driver's etiquette guide for running. So by the time I get to the fountain where I started, there is a lady in fatigue shorts and a tank top and she is leading a big group of runners in a workout that does not look like sunshine and daisy's if you know what I mean. I cross Naito and head back to my office feeling quite dejected. I can barely complete a simple running workout on my lunch hour, much less a boot camp. Maybe instead of training for a half marathon when I have never run before, I should have trained for an eating contest or something, like chocolate eating.

I return to work and continue my day, a little more tired, a little more stiff, and a lot sweatier. I hope nobody can smell me. So of course you're assuming that I am not a big fan of running...and I probably won't be doing this any longer. Wrong. My next workout is scheduled for Saturday.

I'm a glutton for punishment.



Upcoming races:

Adidas Shamrock Run 5k March 27

Portland Bridge to Brews 10k April 19

Seattle Rock and Roll half marathon June 27

Stimulate Your Love Life, Cheap dates without that cheap feeling

Our once robust investment accounts are dwindling, and it's not just your imagination, things are more expensive. Recession madness is here, we weep, we cry, we cut coupons...but at some point, it's time to move on. Get about town already!

Start with a late morning coffee and a bag of choquettes at St. Honore.
http://www.sainthonorebakery.com/. Everything in the case is to die for. If you want savory, I reccomend the croque monsieur. This is what a latte/cappuccino really tastes like.
Weather you're in at the NW Thurman location or the Lake Oswego location, grab a bag of choquettes to go and take a turn around the neighborhood. Both locations are ideally placed amongst great little shops and conviently enough, both are near libraries (in case you were a little fuzzy on that, a library is a place where you can check out and read books for free).
Estimated Total Cost:

2 cups coffee & bag of chouquettes: $11



Are you salivating yet?

Want to get out of dodge? Head for Oregon's wine country. It's about a 45 minute drive from Portland, and once you get there, you will feel like you are in another country. The Domaine Drouhin has a pinot noir that's so good, last time I was there, I loudly announced I would happily take a bath in it (in my defense, I had a few glasses down the chute at this point). A flight is about $10, and they tend to be more heavy handed during the week, so if you have a group, spring for a bottle at about $45 to share. http://www.domainedrouhin.com/

Another great winery is Erath, if you go tasting here, the first three or so glasses are free! They have (in my opinion) a stand-out riesling and of course being Oregon, pinot noir as well. Their estate is somewhat more humble than the commanding Domaine Drouhin, but beautiful nonetheless. http://www.erath.com/.

On your way out of Dundee, stop at Argyle. Just make sure you have a DD, because their sparkling wines are the bomb! Last time I was there, I didn't have such a happy ending, but I don't blame the wine, I blame it on riding in the back of a minivan.

http://www.argylewinery.com/

estimated Total Cost
2 Flights at Each Winery (give or take) and gas to get down there: about $35

When all else fails, there's always Happy Hour!

1) One of my all-time favorite happy hour haunts is La Casa Del Matador on NW 23rd http://www.matadorrestaurants.com/%20AsideAside from making a very decent sangria, their happy hour menu is not the usual sparse selections of quesadillas and boring tacos; and the happy hour portions are close to, if not the same as the portions of regular appetizers. Try to get a seat near the fire pit in the bar!

2) Always great for views with a decent happy hour selection is the Portland City Grill. On the 30th floor of Portland' tallest building, the US Bankcorp Tower (Big Pink). They have happy hour all day on Sundays!

Ever the purveyor of a good time, sometimes lack of "cash-money millionaire" status just calls for a little creativity...

Have a recession pub crawl! Hit every bar along the drag. The only rule is that you can only order the cheapest drink on the menu. Prepare to experience exotic tall boys of PBR, other random beers you've never heard of, jello shots, and of course the infamous $2 mystery shot!

You will also meet some very interesting people. At one "bar" that strangely resembled a living room, we randomly ended up jamming to the rhythmic stylings of the drummer from Pink Martini and scored some free creepy halloween masks in the process! Success!

Girl About Town's guide to Urban Decorum

When did it first really sink in that good decorum was an absolute must?

I was in high school, walking to the infamous Top Burger with my friend Natalie before cheerleading practice (yes I was a cheerleader, but in my defense I also served a stint as band president). So anyway, leaving top burger with whatever deep fried madness we were consuming we passed two girls sitting on the sidewalk, reclining really. Their legs sprawled into the street. Let me paint a picture: ratty black bra showing underneath a worn out light pink spaghetti strap tank top, LEI jeans, old sketchers, yellow hair with brown roots, tied back with a rubber band into messy bun. Fake nails, (with decals!) Brown lip liner and frosted lip gloss...They were smoking cigarettes and talking. Wait, change talking to spewing expletives loudly. Normally I wouldn't have given this a second thought, but Natalie quietly brought to my attention how unattractive this was. It struck me. It doesn't take much to cross the line. And it doesn't take much to set that precedent either. I think that observing decorum and good manners just might make up the difference between the "It Girl" and "That Girl."

However, Emily Post aside (sorry Marissa), the rules have changed, and I think it's important that somebody bring to light the all-important social niceties that we observe (or don't) every day without even realizing it. For the record, my friend Marissa is one of the most all around stylishly well mannered people I know.

In line at Starbucks (or any other coffee joint):
If the line is long, you have plenty of time to read the menu and decide what you'd like. If you want to look in the case and aren't yet conveniently located immediately in front, you can step out of line and lean, but if you walk completely out of line, you just forfeited your spot. If you must walk out of line, you need to politely notify the person immediately behind you that you are only stepping over to check out today's sandwich selection. They will understand.
For heaven's sake, be polite to the barista, they are making a liquid beverage that you plan to drink. Think about that.

In the elevator:
If you enter the elevator and other people are already there, you must take an available spot up against one of the walls that doesn't invade a bubble, (if there is one). If all the non-invasive wall spots are taken, you should stand immediately in the middle of the elevator, that way not one person feels awkward and singled out that you decided to invade their bubble.
If you are the one nearest to the button panel, you should push the buttons for new people entering the elevator, but don't get territorial about this duty! If someone wants to push their own buttons, by all means, let them push away.

When someone else's kid is driving you nuts.
For the most part, any commenting is prohibited. If an infant is crying, you personally need to suck it up and deal. If someone's kid is being obnoxious, you should give the parents ample time to notice and rectify the problem. Some parents are so numb to the antics of their kids, they might not notice that little Johnny is running around Subway like a hooligan, but once they figure it out, they will handle it the way they see fit.
If someone's kid is seriously hindering you or someone else's quality of life at the moment (ie: going through someone's belongings, interrupting strangers, ruining property, etc.) You should subtly gauge weather or not the rest of the people in the area are annoyed by this. In case of a mutiny, you want the troops behind you. If they have, you can politely mention to the parent what their child is doing, just don't be accusatory, people don't like feeling like a bad parent. "I'm not sure you can see, but little Suzie is ripping up that gentleman's newspaper."
The only time these rules don't apply is at kid-oriented establishments, let them have at it, that's why everything is made of plastic.

Smoking
Smoking may have been banned in all public establishments in Portland, but that doesn't mean people don't do it. If you need to smoke, you should definitely not walk down a crowded street smoking, as much as you might not care personally, the hoardes of people behind you don't enjoy walking directly into a stinky cloud.
So you should stand in a stationary spot and smoke, and dispose of the butt elsewhere than the sidewalk. Maybe a drain, an ashtray, worst case scenario, the area between the curb and the street is better than the middle of the sidewalk.
Don't smoke in someone else's car unless they smoke too and said it's ok. Even if you ask politely and a non smoker tells you it's ok to smoke in their car, they are most likely not wanting to offend you. If you want to smoke, drive your own car.

Airing your views about politics
This might be a no brainer for some, but don't ever assume that people have the same political views as you. Just because Portland is super duper blue, does not mean that everyone is on your team (same goes for the opposite), in fact there are so many political views and personalities, it's best to not bring it up at all in casual conversation. You may think that everybody in your office is super interested in your opinion and you are super qualified to give it. This is not a good idea.
Here are good places/times to talk political:
At political-oriented functions
At causes that certain political agenda's support (and in this case, stay on topic)
When you are absolutely certain that somebody has given you the green light to open debate.
*notice I didn't say only with people of your orientation. Just make sure it's welcome.