induce philosophical thinking about the fine line between great success and utter failure.
The reason I am thinking about this today at this particular moment in time, is because this afternoon at work, a man dressed like a condom came in and asked me for a loan.
I'll start from the beginning.
So he sat down at my desk, folded his arms, and the first thing I noticed was how bad he smelled. It was a very interesting smell. Take the smell of a brand new fresh cardboard box and really old Wild Turkey. You'd probably have to leave the cap off the bottle for at least 36 hours to get that unique smell. Add in Gold Bond powder, and maybe a hint of BO. That was this guy.
The next thing I noticed was that he was wearing a clearish-white plastic RAINCOAT. WITH THE HOOD UP. YEP.
So the last thing was that his face was red as a radish, and kind of rashy looking too. A cruel irony I know. Don't get me wrong, I didn't look too closely, but yes, rashy in appearance.
He said "I gotta get a loan." I didn't really know what to say, mostly because I was still trying to work out what the smell was. So I just said, "Um, what type of loan?" Like a complete idiot. He looked at me like I was completely crazy, sort of threw his hands up in the air and dropped them back down on the table. So I changed my wording, "What do you plan to do with the money?"
"Pay Rent!" He exclaimed. "Listen, my credit's not 'so great' but I've got this job interview next week."
Ding. Ding. Ding.
So I broke it to him that he probably wouldn't get a loan without a job. I very carefully explained that when underwriting, it's like this:
credit+income+debt+are you psyco?
(not necessarily in that order)
Keep in mind most people in the world are a little bit psyco. So if I like you, I can usually make you look more "stable" and "non-risky" unless you are completely hopeless. This guy was obviously hopeless. So after I nicely told him that I wasn't going to even bother doing a loan application for him. He said "So I really need to get this job then huh?" and went on and on about who he's going to sue, who has wronged him throughout his lifetime. How he was denied all of life's great opportunities. He told me that if he ends up homeless he is going to sue...somebody. I'm sure the legal professionals of Portland are lining up right now.
It's days like that that motivate me to max out my IRA....
This is why I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately. Everybody has a dream. Because really, what is life without dreams? Dreams keep people holding on, they propel some forward. Dreams start things and they end things. Almost everything that you can see, hear, and touch started with a dream, somebody's dream.
Lots of people are crazy and think impossible things. In fact, I think that Lewis Carrol himself wrote:
"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said.
'One CAN'T believe impossible things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen.
'When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'"
So when does a logical, lucid dreamer cross the line and become the crazy guy in the condom coat? When does singing talent become loud insanity? It depends on how the judges feel that day. The scary thing about it all is, we don't really know. And that's also the wonderful thing about dreamers, you just have to know enough to be crazy psyco about the right thing, to the right person, at the right time, and you'll go from a psyco crazy person to a super freakin' genius.
The moral of this blog posting is: If you don't stop heckling all the losers and get off your couch, you just might end up like Condom man.
Things Genevieve Dreams About: (both real and true)
Macaroni and Cheese
Riding my beach cruiser
Books
At a book signing (of my own book) that people actually show up for
Most food in general (let's just get that one out of the way)
Getting a dog
skiing (on a good snow day)
Getting a really sweet job that rocks
listening to really loud music and singing in my car (I know, super mature)
Traveling (mostly to Italy, Antarctica and Australia)
Sleeping in a really awesome bed
On a related note, a really fluffy pillow
A hot bath
Foot Massages
I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.-Edward Kennedy
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